here
so it's been a while and i still don't even want to write now. i don't know how to explain what is going on here at camp or here in me.
i wanted to quit. i still want to quit sometimes. but this staff has become my friends and the kids have kinda grown on me too. only to say i don't want to be just another let down in their lives. so finally i cried. i cried for about days straight. i went to visit my aunt an uncle during one of the days and they didn't say anything exceptionally wise, but i came back to work and i was ok. i'm still ok. i still want to be better. i want to not be satisfied with where i am. i want better for me and my girls. i have no idea what that looks like or how to get it. but i am starting to have fun with them now, a little bit. i don't fear them as much. but i still do fear. though peace is stronger and i call out for it more and more. i even get a little sometimes.
i keep thinking of all the other places i'd rather be and things i'd rather be doing... perhaps i'll make a list for later. right now i'm here.
posted by Rachel Foose at 11:25 AM
1 Comments:
Rachel, I know your job is hard. I know it is hard to be surrounded by brokenness. This is new for you. You have been surrounded by Christian support for most of your life. You are now living in the midst of brokenness. However, Christ is there. He loves you and He loves those girls you spend every minute of your days with. They are the broken that we read about in Scripture. They are the unwanted, unloved, brushed-a-side, prostitutes, sick, uneducated, and so forth. However, they are important to their Father because He created them and He loves them. He died for them. They may not know it, but it is Truth. Show them the Love that He has showed you. Have fun with the creations they were made to be. Enjoy their personalities, no matter how challenging or difficult. Love them as a sister. Be hard as a rock, like Peter. You can do all things through Him who gives you strength. I love you and I'm praying for you. Christ is using us all for His Kingdom in the work He has called us to do.
I love you,
Bethany
8:45 PM
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