Summary

so i haven't posted in a long time mostly because i didn't want to. the past year has really hurt a lot. sometimes it still hurts, there's joy now though. i seem to have had misplaced it before. and i didn't want to talk about it. actually, i still don't... not really. so i'll just sorta sum up.

i quit my job at the wilderness youth camp back in the end of july. i took a few weeks to visit a friend in georgia. i call this my sabatical. haha, that's because i am humerous and sincere. it was truely a time of brokeness and repentence. of course, my God was waiting for me with love and forgiveness. we just started hanging out again. i cried a lot. i played in the rain. i love rain. He loves me.
about the time i was leaving georgia i was alwao sending out resumes to camps with outdoor education programs or year long oppertunities. a day or so after i got home i had an interview with a camp in northeast indiana and a week later i was driving to ymca camp potawotami for the fall outdoor ed. season (aug.-nov.)

here i continued to heal. after about 2 weeks i was already being recruited to return in the spring to continue working as an outdoor ed. instructor (i taught camoeing, wilderness survival fire building and shelter building, climbing, high ropes, pond study and reptiles and amphibians; plus, playing big games like ultimate kickball, leading campfires, and role playing). i was still overwhelmed and unsure. so i hesitated. after about 3 weeks i went to church with my boss and his family... as i was sitting there listening to the preacher preach i was pretty sure that this was the deciding factor and though i took another month to commit to the spring season, i knew that i would be coming back.
about this time, i also began making plans for my nov.-april opening of unemployment. i made plans to go visit my alma mater for thanksgiving and spent about 10 days with my friends from college and my family that is in denver. i figured since i was already over half way and i have no where else to be and i've always wanted to go... i decided to visit some friends up in the northwest. so i hung out for about 10 days in vancouver and seattle, wa. i went snowboarding on mt. hood, camping on the washington coast, and watched fish fly at pike park market and saw some radical sunrises and sunsets.

i'll be home til the 28th when i leave for new zealand until april. i've been pretty nervous about it, but as i get more and more information about the camp i'll be working at and solidify more and more traveling details i feel better about it. it's kinda a more nervous excitement anyways. like how i felt driving up to indiana. a new experience, i have no idea what to expect. and that is ok. i love it.

when i get back from new zealand i'll go back to indiana for a month and then go to israel for a 2 week study tour of galilee and turkey. i went to israel 2 years ago and this is a sweet oppertunity to learn more about Jesus and the early church as it spread through eastern europe.

i'll return to potawotami for the summer as the high ropes facilitator and adventure coordinator. i made some friends in ft. wayne through a college campus ministry retreat, so i am excited to see them again in the spring and hopefully work with them this summer.

my heart still hurts sometimes when i think of the consequences some of my decisions have left me with. i still long for reconciliation and healing and peace in my relationships. but i have a hope and a faith in me that is growing. and for now, that is enough. more than enough.